How to Choose Mattress Firmness: Soft, Medium or Firm - What's Right for You?

Woman testing mattress firmness in a bright bedroom while choosing the right bed comfort level

You spend about one-third of your life sleeping in your bed, and as such, your mattress is the single most important piece of furniture in your house. If you are getting out of bed feeling uncomfortable from your lower back, shoulder pain, or even just tired in general, then maybe your bed is working against you.

It can definitely be a challenge trying to select what type of mattress is right for you when there are so many choices out there. Should your mattress be soft like clouds, or firm as a rock? It is very important to get it right, However, as it has a major effect on your spinal posture and well-being. An too much hard mattress will create painful pressure points in your shoulders and hips, whereas an overly soft bed will curve your spine into a hammock.

Here is the complete guide from Wowbeds to help you understand how you should pick a suitable mattress based on your sleeping style, body weight, and lifestyle. No matter whether you want the most luxurious experience or are considering our Collection of Firm Mattress, understanding how to pick a mattress will transform your sleeping experience forever.

TL;DR Summary: The Quick Firmness Guide

  • Side Sleepers: Usually need a Soft to Medium mattress to cushion the shoulders and hips.
  • Back Sleepers: Usually need a Medium to Medium-Firm mattress to support the lower back curve.
  • Stomach Sleepers: Always need a Firm mattress to prevent the hips from falling into the bed.
  • Couples: A Medium-Firm mattress is the universal "sweet spot" that satisfies the huge majority of different body types and sleep positions.
  • Body Weight Matters: Light sleepers need soft beds to feel comfortable support, while heavier sleepers need firmer beds to guarantee proper structural support.

1. Understanding the Mattress Firmness Scale

The first step to learn more about how to pick a mattress firmness level is understanding how the mattress industry measures it. Typically, each brand follows the same 1 to 10 firmness scale.

Here is the precise description of that scale:

  • 1 – 2 (Extra Soft): The bed will let you go down into it a lot when you sleep. They provide an extreme amount of pressure relief, but there is no spinal support. Not recommended for full-grown adults.
  • 3 – 4 (Soft / Plush): A mattress "hugs" your body. Excellent choice for lightweight side sleepers who need additional joint relief.
  • 5 – 6 (Medium): A compromise between sinking in and being supported. The most popular category worldwide due to its versatility.
  • 7 – 8 (Medium-Firm to Firm): You sleep on top of the mattress instead of inside it. Extremely important for back and stomach sleepers.
  • 9 – 10 (Extra Firm): Extra stiff mattresses like sleeping on a carpeted floor. Selected only by very particular stomach sleepers or people with certain bone related needs.

In finding out about the best mattress to purchase, don't assume everyone will agree — it’s a matter of opinion. A mattress that may be considered "Medium" by a 110kg individual may actually be considered "Firm" by a 50kg individual.

2. How to Choose Mattress Firmness Based on Sleep Position

The single most quick factor in determining your firmness level is how you lie down. This means that your dominant sleeping position will control which part of your body puts pressure on the bed.

Side Sleepers

If you’re a side sleeper, your whole body weight rests only on your shoulder and hip bones since the rest of your body is not in contact with the bed. Too hard mattresses can cause your arms to become numb while placing huge pressure on your hipbones. To make sure your body is lying straight, choose a soft or medium (3-5) mattress to provide some extra padding.

Back Sleepers

Since you sleep on your back, this position is natural when it comes to proper posture since your body weight is evenly distributed. You should choose a mattress that provides the necessary support for your lower back but at the same time doesn’t sink in under the weight of your hips. Choose a medium to medium-firm (5-7) mattress.

Stomach Sleepers

Sleeping face down puts a huge strain on your back. Should a stomach sleeper choose to lie on a soft mattress, their body’s center will sink quite deeply into the bed surface, causing the spine to curve unnaturally into a shape resembling that of the letter U. Such sleeping posture leads to too much pain in the lower part of the spine. Should you be a stomach sleeper, selecting a good quality mattress becomes easy – you have to purchase a Firm (7-9) mattress, which will elevate your hips.

Combination Sleepers

Should you roll from your back position to your side or even stomach while asleep, then you should consider having a flexible bed. Medium (5-6) mattresses would suit you perfectly.

Quick Reference: Sleep Position vs. Firmness

Sleep Position

Recommended Firmness

Why It Works

Side Sleepers

Soft to Medium (3-5)

Cushions sharp pressure points at the hips and shoulders.

Back Sleepers

Medium to Firm (5-7)

Supports the lumbar curve and keeps the spine neutral.

Stomach Sleepers

Firm (7-9)

Prevents the hips from sinking and bending the spine.

Combination

Medium (5-6)

Provides a versatile balance of comfort and support for all positions.

3. How to Select a Good Mattress Based on Body Weight

Whereas your sleeping position dictates the best mattress firmness, your body weight dictates how that firmness feels to you. Part of knowing how to buy the right mattress involves being realistic about your physique.

Sleepers Under 60kg

If you are lightweight, you don’t apply enough pressure to sink into the top layer of a normal mattress. "Medium" may come off to you as too hard, almost brick-like. As such, you probably need to shift down one firmness level. This means that a lightweight side-sleeper requires a very soft mattress to make sure proper pressure relief.

60kg to 100kg

This weight range is most common, meaning the 1-10 scale works for most average-weight people. You can rely on sleep position guidelines without making any major changes.

Over 100kg

People who weigh more than the average sleeper push through the comfort layers further into the bed. For instance, buying a soft mattress for a person above 100kg could see him or her sink all the way through and be left to lie uncomfortably on hard support springs. As such, people with high body weights have to increase their firmness levels by one level .

4. The Best Mattress Firmness for Couples

It is not an easy task to learn about choosing the best mattress, but what will happen if the decision involves two people? If one of them is a 60kg person that sleeps on his or her side and prefers a mattress with a cloud-like softness, while the other is a 95kg person sleeping on his or her stomach and requires a board like firmness, then buying a bed may become a disaster.

There is only one choice that may make a happy couple – it is a Medium Firm (6-6.5) mattress.

With a medium-firm mattress, a larger person sleeping on his or her back will feel supported, while the layer of material on its surface will be soft enough for a lighter side sleeper.

If you belong to the latter category, it would be great to check out the medium-firm Mattress by Wowbeds named Dreamer. As the name suggests, it is specially designed to make both partners feel comfortable, since it provides the right level of softness and firmness for everybody.

5. Soft Mattresses: Pros, Cons, and Who They Are For

A soft mattress (3-4 rating) is greatly desired by those who prefer to be hugged by their mattress. It usually consists of a thick layer made of memory foam or plush material.

Pros:

  • Great pressure relief when it comes to aching joints.
  • Outstanding flexibility in the region of shoulder blades and hips.
  • Perfect for lighter people.

Cons:

  • Causes back pains among stomach and heavy back sleepers.
  • Can trap body heat due to the excessive sinkage.
  • Difficulties when changing position and getting out of the bed.

Who Should Buy It: Strict side sleepers, people suffering from joint pain, and individuals who weigh less than 60kg.

6. Medium Mattresses: The Universal Sweet Spot

Medium Firm Mattresses (Rating 5 to 6) represent the perfect balance and are the gold standard in the bedding industry. They offer the right combination of comfort and firmness making them the best-selling mattresses in Australia.

wowbeds-duo-mattress

Pros:

  • Offer support in the maximum number of sleeping positions.
  • The ideal choice for all those who sleep in multiple sleeping positions.
  • Safest choice for guest room.

Cons:

  • May not be extremely soft for the light side sleepers.
  • May not have sufficient support for stomach sleepers.

Who Should Buy It: Ideal for combination sleepers, back sleepers, couples with different needs, and moderate body types.

7. Firm Mattresses: Pros, Cons, and Who They Are For

Firm Mattresses (Rated 7-9): The mattresses within this category hardly give into pressure in their top layers at all. As a result, you'll rest directly on top of the surface with your body perfectly aligned horizontally.

Pros:

  • Firms your spine into perfect alignment while sleeping on your back and tummy.
  • Helps prevent lower back pains caused by hips sinking.
  • Very durable and less likely to blend.
  • Sleep coolly since you sink less into the mattress itself.

Cons:

  • Could cause very pain in shoulders and hips for strict side sleepers.
  • Might be too hard for light sleepers.

Who Should Buy It: Strict tummy sleepers, heavy-weighted persons, and back sleepers experiencing lower back pain.

If you know that a rigid, highly supportive bed is exactly what you need to upgrade your posture, explore our dedicated Firm Mattress Collection to find your perfect match.

8. Warning Signs You Are Sleeping on the Wrong Firmness

Sometimes, you only notice that you are sleeping on the wrong type of bed when your body begins to show its irritation. In case you are wondering about mattress firmness selection tips, then listen carefully for the signals coming from your own body every single day.

Firm Bed Symptoms:

  • You wake up feeling numb or tingly sensations in your hands and feet (bad circulation).
  • You experience pain or mild pain in your shoulder blades or hip areas upon waking.
  • Your lower back feels tight since the mattress does not conform properly to the natural curves of your spine.

Soft Bed Symptoms:

  • You wake up to an aching lower back area.
  • You struggle to roll over or move out of bed due to the mattress’s softness.
  • You keep sinking into the center area of the bed and hold against your spouse.

These symptoms can have harmful effects on your overall health and well-being if you do not take steps to remedy the situation. Keep in mind that sleeping on the wrong kind of bed could cause irreparable damage to your physical health. For more information, check out the in-depth post on Mattress Firmness, Sleep Quality, & Comfort.

9. Finding Your Perfect Fit with Wowbeds

Deciding on the best way to pick the firmness of a mattress is not necessarily a task that requires much effort. With careful consideration of your preferred sleeping position, your weight, and paying close attention to what your body needs, you'll have no problem finding the perfect mattress for yourself.

It might just be a plush mattress that offers you the perfect pressure point relief for your shoulders; you might find yourself needing the combination of the two in a medium-firm mattress; or you could go with the extra-firm support offered by bond related mattresses.

Are you ready to experience life-changing sleep and stop struggling through each day? Browse the entire collection of top-quality sleep products at Wowbeds. Learn how to pick a great mattress and sleep like a king!

10. Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

  1. How do I tell if I need a softer or firmer mattress?
    If you wake up with numb arms or sharp shoulder pain, your mattress is too hard. If you experience a dull ache in your lower back from sinking in, your mattress is too soft and lacks support.
  1. What mattress to stay away from?
    Avoid any mattress that forces your spine out of alignment. Stomach sleepers must avoid plush beds that cause lower back pain, while side sleepers should avoid extra-firm beds that cause joint numbness.
  1. Do you need a firmer or softer mattress as you age?
    As you age, a slightly softer mattress (Medium to Medium-Soft) is ideal to guarantee pressure relief for sensitive joints. However, it still needs a supportive core to keep your spine aligned and make getting up easy.
  1. What is the best mattress firmness for lower back and hip pain?
    A Medium to Medium-Firm mattress is the absolute best choice. It provides a softer top layer to cushion your hips, alongside firm structural support to guarantee your lower back does not collapse.
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